Emotional and Addiction Recovery Coach's Blog

August 22, 2009

Letting Go of Your Old Ideas

Filed under: Choices,Thought Life,Uncategorized — The UnEmotional Eater @ 4:24 pm
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You know I’ve spent over 20 years with hearing “you have to let go of your old ideas or the result is nil” on a regular basis but all of the sudden an entirely new level was unlocked. The last two years has been about really challenging my ideas, my beliefs about myself and others. I have had a lot of good stuff in my head for years that I could spout regularly but couldn’t live up to with any consistency! Anyone relate? But also burning in my belly was a bunch of ideas that were morphed from other people into my own. Unfortunately these were the ones that were regularly killing me. They were creating oppression, coping behaviors, self doubt and a whole host of other lovely things. Truly they have been the termites in my foundation. Everything good I would try to build they would either eat or eat away the foundation which made them crumble.

What brought all this blog on….last night I was watching Trisha Greaves at www.healyourhunger.com do a YouTube on binge eating. Here is the clip if you’re interested in watching Garbage Eating but she said the most magical thing…”I DESERVE”. I deserve to eat this because I’ve had a hard day. I deserve to eat this because I haven’t eaten all day. That hit me like a ton of bricks. I have spent an entire life with this old idea/lie of “I DESERVE”. My “I DESERVE” has looked more like; I deserve to eat that, say that, drive like that because I have had a stressful day and no one understands. I deserve to eat that, buy that, say that because I work hard and no one understands. I deserve to drink diet coke, eat candy, ice cream because I have already given up so many other things and no one understands. Wow, this whole rationalization of “I deserve” to treat myself and others poorly is a lie. Then we add the “and no one understands” which brings on the isolation that satan loves best. Remember he likes to get you isolated like the lions looks for the slow or sick gazelle. They are the easiest to pick off.

The reframing becomes “I DESERVE” peace, “I DESERVE” calmness, “I DESERVE” a well balanced meal, “I DESERVE” to not be overweight, “I DESERVE” to feel good, “I DESERVE” to live a debt free life, “I DESERVE” to live in health and wellness of body mind and spirit.

So the first step is to call out the lie just like any other bully on the playground. When you hear “I DESERVE” the question becomes who said that? Did that voice come from who wants your abundance or from who wants your destruction? Is what the voice is telling you “I deserve” does it support health and wellness of my body, mind and spirit or does it fuel my pain and coping behaviors i.e. destruction? Most of you have heard me say cock roaches don’t like light. When you begin to shine light on the darkness in your head you begin to be free.

For today may you walk free from the “I deserve” black hole. Next time we can talk about not running your tank so low that you reach the “I deserve” level.


Tammy – Your Emotional and Addiction Recovery Coach

1 Comment »

  1. Yes, Tammy what a good point and a great post. Sometimes we reach self-deserving places in our daily lives where we are prone to self-destruction. We rationalize and excuse our vices by telling ourselves we’ve suffered enough so really we deserve what we think we want instead of taking time out to recognize where the “want” is coming from and letting the feeling pass through us, as we move into a place of listening to our body’s real need(s)

    Comment by Vanessa — September 8, 2009 @ 10:36 pm | Reply

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