Consequences of Choices

I have thought a lot about Steve McNair the last few days. Press overload maybe? I think it was really more about the reality of his choices and the sadness for his family. I feel confident when Mr. McNair met this young lady he wasn’t thinking anything about being murdered, about his adultery being national news, about bringing trauma and embarrassment to his wife, kids, and family. When we invite sin into our lives we never know the price. I heard someone say once “sin will take you further than you want to go and keep you there longer than you intend to stay”. Most people don’t have to pay with their literal life but obviously some do. A little over 20 years now I had two people in my life die as a result of drinking and driving. I can assure you when they got in the car that day to have some fun they never thought “this will be my last”. Satan is just looking for a foot hold. If you have ever climbed mountains you know you don’t need a lot to get a grip. Satan doesn’t require much either. He is always looking I Peter 5:8, “he walks about like a roaring lion looking for whom he can devour”. On July 4^th he devoured several in one fail swoop. My prediction is God will do with this situation as His word sates in Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,* who* have been called according to his purpose”. God used those two tragic deaths over 20 years ago to draw me off the path that I was on. I feel confident someone is making a corrective path as a result of Steve McNair’s fatal outcome. Somehow we think we are cooler, hipper, slicker, smarter than the rest of the world when we choose sin. I guess that is why the apple was the fruit of the tree of knowledge. We think we know more than God. But just like all of satan’s schemes we wake up and realize we are in a snare and fighting for our life.

They say in Alcoholics Anonymous you can get off the downward elevator on any floor. How far do your consequences need to go before you make a choice toward God?

Your Emotional and Addiction Recovery Coach,

Tammy

It Takes a Team to Heal the Hurting

I think about the book Hillary Rodham Clinton wrote several years ago, It Takes a Village to Raise a Child . I am not necessarily a Hillary fan but I am living proof that it takes a village or I like to call it a recovery team to truly heal. Most people that I have dealt with over the last 20+ years don’t have just one issue going on in their life. We all wish that if I just lost that weight, if I just got that man, if I just stop drinking or using then everything else will fall into place. But the truth was that with every achievement I found myself just little deeper near the core, kind of like unpeeling the proverbial onion. You peel and cry a while and then peel some more.

My experience in recovery is that it takes a team. I first and foremost have to not drink, do drugs or kill myself. That sounds kind of funny but the truth is there were a lot of days that it was all I could do to achieve that goal for the day. So I needed people on my team that helped me do that. Those people included my sponsor/mentor, my backup (I thought I was sicker than others) and my recovery friends (the ones you can call in the middle of the night) you can count them on one hand, usually three fingers. Then as I began to do other work I needed other team members that had their area of expertise like the therapist that worked with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Sexual Abuse Group members, etc. I have had coaches along the way that helped me with employment issues, men issues, marriage issues, business issues, etc.

The interesting thing about addiction, emotional breakage and depression is we think we can do it alone. We have this idea that if we could only live on an island and didn’t have all these problems we would be okay. We don’t want to “bother” anybody. The list is ad nauseam as to why we can’t, won’t, etc. reach out and get the team we need. What I have come to learn is it is imperative to have these people that pour truth into our lives. I don’t need anyone that feel sorry for me, fuel my fire or give me platitudes. I need people that will listen, share their experience and keep me in truth toward healing not swimming in the messy bog of self pity, anger and negativity.

The team is around you. Look for them, open your eyes, reach out. My experience has been when the student is ready the teacher(s) will appear.

Blessings……

Your Emotion and Addiction Coach Tammy