What is Your Plan?

I have been in sales of some sort most of my adult life. Well really it started way back with Girl Scouts cookies but we won’t talk about that now. The saying in sales is “if you fail to plan, you plan to fail”! Recovery is that same way there has to be a plan, and there has to be tools. When you are caught in the grips of your addiction there do not appear to be many options but as you enter recovery there become concrete plans of action to help move you forward. I have decided recovery is a lot like my golf coach used to say “the object is to advance the ball”. The object of recovery is to stay clean this minute, this hour, this day; one day at a time. That concept has worked for me for over 20 years so let’s talk about “the plan”.

The plan in the beginning is a lot about routine. Addicts/alcoholics are typically undisciplined people. We are accustomed to feeding our flesh whatever it demands, whenever it demands it. Looks a lot like a two year old demanding a toy, cookie, whatever….

1. Meetings/Support. I got sober in Alcoholics Anonymous so obviously I am a big proponent but there are new options today such as Celebrate Recovery, Overcomers, etc. The big thing is I need a place to be with like minded people. If once a week was enough I would have stayed sober long before I did. I didn’t drink daily but my mind began thinking about when it was getting another one a few hours after the last event. I say event because with my drinking at the end there was always an event. Don’t miss that drama! So first off be in community every day or at least 5 out of 7 days. Not just in a Bible Study where you aren’t getting real with what is going on in your head but a safe environment where people are sharing real life and how they are living without using.
2. Sponsor/Mentor/Discipleship partner. If you could get sober/clean in a vacuum you would have already done that too. You have to ask someone how to do it. You have to have someone that can help you walk out life one day at a time without using. Just for the record none of us want to do this. Most folks either think they are not that bad, they don’t want to bother anyone, they have read the literature they “got it”, or whatever the excuses that we come up with why we can’t lower our pride and ask for help. That is really why this is God’s divine plan, it is about us lowering our pride and asking for help. Most people trapped in addiction our ego maniacs with an inferiority complex so this pride issue is a big one!
3. Prayer is the next item. I was told to get on my knees in the morning and ask God to take away the desire to drink and drug for the day. And at night to again get on my knees and thank Him. That getting on your knees issue is serious. This is another one of those pride lessons. Humbling yourself before God and asking for help. Again if you could do it on your own you would have already done that! You can talk about anything else you want to with God while you are on your knees and throughout the day for that matter. But again addicts are undisciplined people; this act is part of that process.
4. Gratitude list. Most people in early recovery have a hard time with this. There isn’t much going on good in the very beginning but again this is a discipline issue. We have disciplined our mind usually to focus on bad, anxiety, crisis, depression, etc. Focusing daily on what is going right and being thankful for simple things like a car to drive, roof over your head, a full stomach brings you back to what is important. You typically aren’t grateful and relapsing at the same time. This is an important tool.
5. Journaling – taking a few minutes to look back on your day will prove helpful. First, getting it out on paper gets it out of you and gives you a new look at it. Secondly, it acts as record of your sober history, you will be able to look back and see your progress. No one has time, wants to, etc. Again we are undisciplined and this is another one of those tools that help is to get a discipline into our lives.
6. Helping Others – The thing I loved about AA is that there were chairs and tables to set up, coffee to make, etc. The meeting that happened while things were being set up was sometimes the best AA you got. Getting off your rear and doing something as simple as putting the ashtrays out (boy I dated myself with this statement) could overcome a lot of self pity for the day.

This isn’t everything but it is a solid place to start. I wish you could store up these items but they are only good for that day. You can save them somewhat but my experience is you deplete your account usually sooner than you realize. This also makes me think about the time element. Everyone complains that they don’t have time but the truth is I had time to go to bars, chase men, have lots of drama, and the hangover recovery time, ugh. Most people in early recovery especially have plenty of time they just need to realize they can’t make up for years of abuse over night and take care of themselves. Staying sober/clean is the most important thing that happens each day. If you put it first many incredible things will come to you and countless others!

Your Emotional and Addiction Recovery Coach,

Tammy

Self Care

Addiction, co-dependency, depression, anxiety these are all hard things to get over. I wish you could be tapped on the head and fixed but that is not my experience. These type issues are daily reprieves contingent on my actions. I really wanted them to be on my knowledge, what anti-depressant I was taking, my intentions, etc. but again not my experience! My experience is it requires action on my part. The action of self care continues to develop and is in direct proportion to how much pain I can endure. The first thing I had to do was not drink or do drugs. That requires a commitment and change of behavior. Then it was about developing a relationship with a Higher Power. That is Jesus for me, I won’t mince words about who my Redeemer is! That has required a process of commitment. Then there have been nutritional changes that had to be made. As an alcoholic I process sugar differently than other people. After beating my head against the wall I accept that fact! I require a balance of protein with sugar or carbs. That is taking responsibility. Self care for me involves proper sleep. In my drinking days I would stay out all night and run with the eagles in the morning. But burning the candle at all the end will leave you emotionally unbalanced.

Everything about how I was living my life has had to be changed. Self care is not about indulgence but about personal responsibility. I require good nutrition, exercise, time with Jesus, mediation/quiet time, sleep and honest relationship. This like everything else has been a process. I have only given things up as I could no longer stand the pain the behavior was causing.

Realizing I wouldn’t treat a stranger the way I treat myself sometimes. I deserve my very best……

Eating Right to Stay Sober

Most alcoholics/addicts have no idea that their diet can contribute to a relapse. The most common mistake they make is to load up on sweets which work quickly and effectively to get rid of fatigue, depression, the mid-morning blahs and even the craving of alcohol. Sweets however contain a hidden time bomb that can transform the immediate relief into long term discomfort even agony. For alcoholics, sweets can actually be deadly, weakening sobriety to the point where the alcoholic is no longer able to fight the urge to drink – no matter how much they may want to stay sober.

A recovering alcoholic who frequently skips meals, gives in to a craving for candy bars, glazed doughnuts and root beer when he needs a lift, and drinks for or five cups of coffee spiked with sugar every day, is playing fast and loose however ignorantly – not only with his sobriety but his life.

Taken directly from pages 17 and 18 in Katherine Ketchum and L Ann Mueller, M.D.’s book Eating Right to Stay Sober.

More will be discussed on the topic of nutrition and sobriety……